Perfectly Reasonable Elysium Everything Part 1: Introduction & SKY SWEEPAH


Elysium. Looks like an awesome movie, made by a very awesome director who also made District 9, probably my favorite sci-fi movie of all time. BUT THAT’S NOT WHY THIS POST IS HERE.

(Note: All the following images can be found at

Spacebattles ended up noting that some of the numbers (i.e. most of them) given for Elysium technology are…interesting in the Perfectly Reasonable Elysium Everything thread. I decided to repost/expand on what was written there (so credits to MJ12, Galorian, Nattuo, etc.).

Okay, to be truthful, Elysium technology as shown on that CCB site is balls-to-the-walls insane.

Not like “oh future tech lollll” insane.

I’m talking about “Matt Damon’s exosuit can benchpress 2 Iowa-class battleships” and “assault rifles that have enough recoil to send you at multi-Mach speeds” and “hand grenades with a multi-kiloton to multi-megaton yield” insane.

To that intern(s) that presumably conjured up these numbers-you made for a possibly super-exciting parody movie that actually uses these numbers.

Let’s begin.


Aaaaaaand we start off with something relatively mundane. The Cousar Crowe Sky Sweeper, or as I like to call it, the SKY SWEEPAH (TM). *shine shine sparkle sparkle*

Take this: the MANPAD (man portable air defense system: in essence, a rocket launcher for hitting flying things from the ground) that’s (seemingly) used in the trailer by Kruger (the main bad guy).

Note that in the movie trailer, this relatively compact MANPAD is able to fire rockets that are able to reach escape velocity. That alone is impressive.

But let’s look at the numbers. The speed of the rockets is a blistering Mach 34, or 11.2 km/s (which is, not-incidentally, the escape velocity for Earth). This is also substantially faster than the Mach 9.6 or so that the current fastest scramjets have reached. However, the range on this thing is over 400 thousand kilometers (for reference, the circumference of the Earth at the widest point is a little over 40 thousand kilometers). That means to reach max range targets, this thing will take at least 9.92 hours to reach the target (assuming the target isn’t in deep space where the rocket can continue speeding up). Presumably Kruger and his ilk are excellent long-term planners and very patient.

This, while kinda silly, is arguably the most mundane out of everything that will be analyzed in this short series.

Next time, we’ll see how deporting undocumented immigrants has lead to the creation of some truly, truly astonishing technology. Like, “I can go 4 times faster than the escape velocity of the sun” astonishing.


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